News that rocks and shocks and makes you wanna say ‘yaoza yaoza yaoza’.
Romanu Tikotikoca’s Head Declared Nature Reserve
Acting Commissioner of Police, Romanu Tikotikoca’s head has been declared a nature reserve by the World Wildlife Fund. This after the discovery that his mop of black hair with a white streak is in fact a live skunk.
In a joint press conference held in Suva today, Tikotikoca and a representative of the WWF confirmed what many had been suspecting for a long time.
“Given the circumstances,” said the WWF representative, “we had no option but to declare his head a nature reserve. This would mean no member of the public would be allowed to trespass on or use his head for recreational purposes. Offenders will face the full brunt of the law.”
Speaking to journalists and members of the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, Tikotikoca said that the skunk had been living on his head for the past decade. Answering a journalist’s question Tikitikoca said the whole incident probably started on a trip to the United States in 1998.
“I was out in the forest hunting a brown bear when all of a sudden I felt something jump onto my head and attach itself firmly to my scalp.”
He said he only realized that a skunk had in fact attached himself to his head when months later his wife accused him of having an affair.
“He’d used to come home everyday with this animal smell as if he’d just fornicated,” said Mrs. Tikotikoca. “Upon close investigation we found the source of the smell attached to his scalp.”
When asked by journalists whether having a live skunk living on the head was uncomfortable Tikotikoca shook his head and said: “It’s really no bother. The poor fellow just sleeps all day long and forages my scalp for sustenance at night. The only mystery to me is when and where he does his pee pee and poo poo.”
Tikotikoca said investigations were underway and the case would be cracked fairly soon.
And in other news …
Tavua man plans to migrate to rings of Saturn
©2007 And This Just In …
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment