And This Just In ... - Issue #7

News others don’t dare to tell.


PARMESH CHAND TAKES ON STAGE NAME


The former C. E. O for Public Enterprises and the current Permanent Secretary in the Prime Minister’s Office Parmesh Chand has taken on a stage name. He will now be referred to in all his media and public appearances as ‘Da Man’. This comes in response to the almost daily appearances he has been making on television.

Chand paid tribute to his old name saying it had served him well but that it was time to be called something else.

“I just cannot go on being called Parmesh Chand. It’s too ordinary. I need something more glitzy and more marketable and certainly sexier!”

He said the name ‘Parmesh Chand’ was appropriate at a time when he was a nobody but now that he was so famous it was time for a change.

“Let’s face it,” he said, “today I am the most famous man in Fiji. I mean who in Fiji appears more on television than I? Hello!”

It has been reported that Chand has also hired a makeup artist and out-of-work Bollywood agent to assist him in his time of fame. Asked why he chose the name ‘Da Man’ Chand said the choice had not been easy. He said he consulted many quack doctors in Labasa and read countless issues of Smash Hits and Filmfare Magazines without success.

Chand said he had considered the names ‘P C Diddy’, ‘P C Hammer’ and ‘Li’l Chand’ as a way of reaching out to the younger generation but decided to settle on ‘Da Man’.

“It’s short, easy to remember and to the point. Plus it aptly describes who I am – the man. I am the man baby!”

Chand also said that changing one’s name with one’s fortune was not a new trend.

“Do you think George Michael would have ‘made it big’ with a stupid name like Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou?”

Chand is currrently involved in talks with the National Broadcasting Corporation of the United States to produce a television script he’s written on his life called “Everybody Loves Parmesh.” The story is about the life of the real Parmesh Chand, although in the credits he will not be introduced as Parmesh Chand but ‘Da Man’.

And in other news …

Former Prime Minister Lasenia Qarase changes name to ‘Former Lasenia Qarase’.

©2007 And This Just In …